We were once the token Yanks at a party of English speaking people from around the world. The conversation naturally turned to our lack of a common language. Frustrated by my inability to teach those folks how to speak properly I prepared this little English to American dictionary.
The English say: They really mean:
advert commercial
arse ass
barman bartender
barrister attorney
biscuit cookie
bloody (doesn’t translate)
blow job blow drying your hair
blow me I’m surprised
boffin nerd
bollocks balls, testicles
bonnet the hood of a car
boot the trunk of a car
bugger (doesn’t translate)
chat up pick someone up
cheers good bye
chips French fried potatoes
crisps potato chips
drawing pin thumbtack
dust bin trash can
dustman garbage collector
fagged tired
faggots meatballs
fags cigarettes
flannel washcloth
flog sell
gum glue
hooter nose
jolly very
keep your pecker up keep your chin up
knickers panties
knock you up call on you
loo toilet
lorry truck
mate friend
motorway freeway or turnpike
pants underwear
petrol gasoline
pinch steal
pinny apron
pissed intoxicated
queue line
quid a pound note
randy horny
rubber eraser
scrubber a loose woman
serviette napkin
sprog baby
underground subway
up the duff pregnant
vest undershirt
waistcoat vest
Wellies galoshes
windscreen windshield
zed the letter z
©2009 by Bob Rockwell
Too Much Tequila, Too Little Sunscreen 
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