Assignment: Write a paragraph that begins with: The cat didn’t come home last night
The cat didn’t come home last night …
… and neither did my wife. The whore ran off with that Amway salesman again. Damn her. I woulda gone after her but my car wouldn’t start and I’m laid up with the swine flu, an abscessed tooth and a prostate the size of a grapefruit. I don’t miss the cat much but I shore do miss my old yeller dog. She got runned over by a garbage truck last week on the same day I got fired. I’ve got to talk to the bank about the foreclose on my trailer as soon as I post bail for my junkie, gay hooker son. I’ll get to it right after I’m through with this damn IRS audit. Fuck the cat.
Too Much Tequila, Too Little Sunscreen 