Too Much Tequila, Too Little Sunscreen

© 2011 by Bob Rockwell
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the permission of the author.
ISBN: 978-1-105-09282-4
Printed in the United States of America

Preview

After writing and publishing a host of short stories and a number of historical fiction pieces Bob Rockwell has just finished his first full-length novel, Boner. Boner is a humorous look at some extraordinary characters set in the present in and around the US/Mexican border. Bob, a Marine Viet Nam veteran and his soul-mate Josephina Bernstein, PhD bought a run-down ranch along the Mexican border in Luna County, New Mexico after spending some time there as volunteers in César Chávez’s ill-fated “Wet Line” blockade of 1973. Their lives were changed forever when they woke up one morning at the annual Burning Man event only to find this young man asleep in their tent curled around César, their pet goat. He only speaks Swahili, he grins continuously and he has this embarrassing but enviable condition. He has a perpetual erection. Hence the name Bob gave him, Boner.

Bob spends his time shooting at the Border Patrol’s drone aircraft, harboring illegals and drug traffickers which he defends against the establishment. Josephina gave up her professorship at ASU to cook meals so bad that even starving illegals won’t eat them and to find a permanent cure for Boner’s problem. Things were going along fine. That is until two drug traffickers stop by for dinner, an evening of tequila and a warm place to sleep. Bob, Boner and their drug-running friend, Chui wake up to find that the other mule has stolen all of the cargo, some $1.6 million in cocaine, and kidnapped Josephina along with their pet goat. Chui knows he’s dead if he can’t recover the dope, Bob passionately wants to save Josephina from harm and Boner misses his best friend, César.

This unlikely trio takes off on an adventure to rescue Josephina and recover the stolen cocaine. Their quest lands them in Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s infamous “tent-city” jail, through a bar brawl in a Hispanic gay bar in Phoenix before they pull off one of the most unique jail breaks in history. Their clues soon lead them to California where they find themselves boner deep in the porno movie industry and guests for an evening at the Playboy mansion. Their trip continues on to Tijuana where they’re asked (forced) to revitalize a historic landmark and then on to an even more adventuresome and deadly stop amid the drug cartel wars in Juarez.

Our story ends with an unexpected conclusion shortly after our characters reunite at their ranch in Southern New Mexico.
Mimi kuja!