Too Much Tequila, Too Little Sunscreen

Yogi Berra is known for a number of things, two of which are, being one of the best catchers of all-time and his unique yogiisms. Some grammarian said that yogiisms often take the form of either an apparently obvious tautology, or a paradoxical contradiction. Tautology and paradoxical aren’t words that Yogi would have ever used. Read below, and you’ll see why.

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.
You can observe a lot by just watching.
If the world was perfect, it wouldn’t be.
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
I never said most of the things I said.
Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.
It gets late early out there.
If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
If you ask me anything I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.
The future ain’t what it used to be.
90% of the putts that are short don’t go in.
I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.
I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.
I wish I had an answer to that because I’m tired of answering that question.
I just want to thank everyone who made this day necessary.
Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.
It’s like deja-vu, all over again.
It ain’t the heat; it’s the humility.
Never answer an anonymous letter.
I usually take a two hour nap from one to four.