We all say inappropriate things now and then and occasionally we say something that doesn’t make any sense at all. Remember when George W. said, “You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.” Or when he said, “It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.” Was he really that dumb or did he just speak without thinking? You judge for yourself, but I think he was really that dumb.
Speaking of dumb, Dumb with a capital D. Who can forget Dan Quayle? Okay, so you’ve forgotten him already. Remember, he was our Vice President from 1989 to 1993 under George Bush (the old one not the dumb one). All the history books have to say about Dan Quayle is that he made official visits to 47 countries and was appointed chairman of the National Space Council. That’s it. Not that he accomplished anything in any of those 47 countries, just that he was there. Although we remember him as a hollow-suit, pea brain, he did leave us a treasury of truly dumb quotations. Maybe the finest collection of stupid comments ever recorded. Take a gander at the following and remember he was our vice president, and he represented you and me around the world. I couldn’t make these up. These are actual quotes attributed to Dan Quayle, honest.
The future will be better tomorrow.
I have made good judgments in the Past. I have made good judgments in the Future.
Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.
We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a “part” of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a “part” of Europe.
What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.
When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame.
It’s time for the human race to enter the solar system.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.
Mars is essentially in the same orbit… Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.
The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.
Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor. It’s the other way around. They never vote for us.
Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here.
Tobacco exports should be expanded aggressively because Americans are smoking less.
The thing is, if you control the Senate meetings, you control the gavel. And the gavel is a very important instrument… an instrument of power. An instrument that establishes the agenda.
We should develop anti-satellite weapons because we could not have prevailed without them in ‘Red Storm Rising’.
Bank failures are caused by depositors who don’t deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement.
Unfortunately, the people of Louisiana are not racists.
This election is about who’s going to be the next President of the United States!
Space is almost infinite. As a matter of fact, we think it is infinite.
My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will, never, never surrender to what is right.
If we don’t succeed we run the risk of failure.
What do you think? Was he as dumb as he sounds? Probably so. We now know why President Bush sent him to those 47 countries. Bush was keeping him as far away from Washington as possible. I’m almost embarrassed to say that I voted for Bush/Quayle their first time around. It was either them or Dukakis/Bentsen. So there!
I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made. Dan Quayle
Too Much Tequila, Too Little Sunscreen 