Did I just wake up in the middle of a zany Marx Brothers film? No, this can’t be. Yes it can. I still can’t believe we elected this clown1 as our president. It must’ve happened—everybody says it did—but I can’t, I won’t, I can’t, buy this narcissistic misogynist as my president. Presidents come with flawless backgrounds, wholesome lifestyles, at least average intelligence, and most of all, some charisma. This goofball has a background full of shady, greedy business dealings, the lifestyle of a mafia don, gaudy, tasteless homes, a trophy wife (his third), and the intelligence of a flatworm. His idea of charisma is enamoring us with his insecure narcissistic bravado, his ridiculous yellow pompadour, his a goofy comb over, his orange-in-a-bottle facial makeup, and his quickness to berate cripples, women, Muslims, Mexicans, and anyone else who disagrees with him. Charming, huh? Presidential, huh?
Trump clearly showed his priorities when his very first official act as our new president was to lay into the press for supposedly misrepresenting the size of his inauguration crowd. He told his audience in his first presidential speech that “one of the networks” had “an empty field” while he saw a crowd that “looked like a million-and-a half people and went all the way back to the Washington Monument.” And then he had his new Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, introduce himself to the American people and to the press with a bold-faced lie2: “This was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration, period. Both in person and around the globe.” Although Trump’s and Spicer’s claims were blatantly lies, Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway explained on national TV that Spicer wasn’t telling a falsehood, he was simply giving “alternative facts.” Nobody really cares about the size of the crowd at his inauguration, but we do care whether we can believe Trump or his staff. Can they be trusted to tell us the truth, or will we be getting “alternative facts.” So far they’re batting 000.
Trump made his false inauguration crowd size claims in his first presidential speech at the CIA headquarters. This, his first speech as our new president, was a totally inappropriate “I’ll-do-this” and “I’ll-do-that” campaign speech. I yelled at my TV: Quit selling! You won! Trump reminds me of a sleazy salesman who doesn’t know when to quit selling, even after he has the order. I’m told they keep selling because that’s all they know to do and to feed their need for constant attention and affirmation. Sound like Trump?
Trump says he’s committed to honoring his campaign promises, once he figures out how. Most of us are betting that his ignorance of how our government actually works coupled with his “you’re fired” reality-show arrogance and mentality almost guarantees that he’ll not get much, if anything done. He’s only got a little less than four years, and the U.S. government isn’t the real estate or construction business or some grade-b reality TV show.
Let’s go back over what he told us he would do when elected. First, he was going to “drain the swamp,” which his supporters took to mean removing corruption and greed from our federal government. Instead he appoints a cabinet full of millionaires and billionaires, who like him, have little qualification for their jobs other than their wealth. But his biggest addition to the slime and scum of the swamp is Steve Bannon, (reputed to be a white supremacist, an anti-Semite, a misogynist, and a domestic abuser) as Chief White House Strategist. Sounds like a Trump kinda guy, doesn’t he? What sort of strategy can we expect from him? I leave it to you to decide how much the swamp has risen. An inch? A foot? Or enough to spill over into our lives?
I reported earlier that his immigration plan is incoherent, unachievable and racist. His foreign policy, when he finally gets one, will consist of chest-beating and a lot of “mine’s bigger than yours.” His economic rhetoric is some adolescent gooblygoop about protectionism, our trade deficit, lowering our national debt, and taxing hedge fund managers. So far, I’m right on.
Let’s give him some credit. In his first few days in office he issued a batch of executive orders. He blocked entry into the U.S. by Syrian refugees indefinitely, and he put a 90-day freeze on entry into the U.S. by people from Iran, Iraq, Libya, Somalia, Sudan, Syria, and Yemen. We all know that his executive order was soon overturned by a “so-called” federal judge and upheld by a federal appeals panel in what I’m sure will be the first of his many pissing contests with the judicial branch. He has reportedly been involved in, a party to, 3,500 lawsuits prior to becoming president. Can you believe it – 3,500 lawsuits?
And I know it’s hard to believe, but he actually ordered agencies to begin planning and identifying funding to build a wall on the Mexican border. And if that didn’t rile up his Hispanic constituents and those of us living along the border enough, he directed the agencies to step up deportation of those in our country illegally. Their first act was to deport Guadalupe García de Rayos, a 35 year old mother of two living in Arizona, who has been in the U.S. illegally since she was 14 years old. Her heinous crime was using a false Social Security number so she could work at menial jobs to feed her family. Don’t you feel safer now that we got rid of this vicious criminal? Deporting Guadalupe is really showing those drug-dealing, criminal, and rapist Mexicans. Take that, you greasers!
And, Trump directed the hiring of 10,000 more Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents to pull this all off. Oh, and that’s not all. He stated, with a straight orange face, that it is now U.S. policy for local law enforcement officers to act as immigration officers whenever possible. See, Sheriff Joe Arpaio isn’t a criminal; he was just ahead of his time.
Trump didn’t forget to put the screws to our Native Americans. He ordered that the Dakota Access Pipeline be approved in an expedited manner, including easements or rights-of-way to cross Federal areas. Screw the Indians and their sacred grounds, Trump wants the oil!
And did he forget to bash a woman or two? No, he ordered that no more federal dollars can go to any organizations that provide abortion services. I can hardly wait ’til the soon to be fully complemented Supreme Court tackles Roe vs. Wade. And you can bet they will.
And what’s up with his tweeting. He acts more like a 14-year-old girl than a 70-year-old narcissist who hasn’t found the White House men’s room yet. Tweeting might have been effective when he was campaigning (I doubt it) but it isn’t presidential, isn’t proper, and it isn’t the way to communicate with the public. Roosevelt had his fireside chats and Trump has his tweets. Wait, wait, this just in:
Donald J. Trump3
@realDonaldTrump 2h
Crimea was TAKEN during the Obama Administration. Was Obama
too soft on Russia?
Is this any way to run a railroad? A country? The free world?
How are we going to get through the next four years? After a couple of really depressing weeks I’ve decided that I’m going to treat Donald’s presidency as wacky, humorous entertainment. We need more humor in our lives, and what could be better than electing a clown for president. So rather than getting totally depressed, calling the suicide prevention hotline, or moving to Botswana, I’m just going to sit back and chuckle. I’m going to giggle at all of his narcissistic jabber and his idiotic and politically incorrect antics. I’ll roar when he grabs Angela Merkel or Theresa May by the p***y. And I’ll snicker when America doesn’t get magically great again. But I’ll real feel sadness as he hopelessly struggles with our really tough issues like: factory closings, jobs moving offshore, cheap immigrant labor, chronic high unemployment, our inability to curb radical Islamic terrorism, or the violence in our streets. I wish him luck, but I’m not hopeful.
It’s going to be a blast.
At least we haven’t had to listen to him brag about the size of his … er … fingers or make fun of cripples. Yet.
1 clown /kloun/ noun – a comic entertainer, especially one in a circus, wearing a traditional costume and exaggerated makeup.
2 alternative facts
3 actual tweet read online Feb. 15, 2017, 7:14 am, MST
Too Much Tequila, Too Little Sunscreen 