Too Much Tequila, Too Little Sunscreen

When I’ve bumped into celebrities unexpectedly I have introduced myself as an admirer and fan, offered to shake their hands, and to chat if they’re amiable. The following encounters are my most memorable.

 

A Beer with Wilt

Linda and I enjoyed my company’s season tickets to the Lakers whenever they were available. We became serious Laker fans and rooted and cheered for Jerry West, Gail Goodrich, Happy Harrison, Elgin Baylor, and Wilt Chamberlain maybe the best starting lineup of all time.

Wilt had hurt his knee and was not suited up tonight. During the game I went to the concession stand up and back behind the seating for a couple beers. Me and the girl running the bar were the only people on the floor when I heard this booming voice behind me. I turned and faced the biggest person I had ever seen, Wilt Chamberlain. He was 7 feet 1 inch tall and 275 pounds of muscle. I stood chest high to him and I stuck out my hand and introduced myself. He shook my hand. I turned to the bar girl and ordered a beer for Wilt. We clicked our paper cups together and toasted the Lakers.

Deplaning with 74

We had just landed in LA and the passengers filled the aisle waiting to deplane. I had stored my bag in the overhead bin back behind my seat, so I had to wait until the aisle was free to get my bag. I got it and headed out. A big guy was blocking the aisle in first class as he got his bags down from the overhead bin. He turned and apologized, and I recognized him. He was Merlin Olsen the All-Pro defensive tackle of the Los Angeles Rams and one of their legendary “Fearsome Foursome.” We walked out of the plane together and as we were taking the ramp down to the gate I asked him if he would say hello to my son waiting for me at the gate. He said sure and as we entered the terminal we were met by Linda and our three kids. Merlin put down his bag and shook Rob’s hand and introduced himself as number 74 of the Los Angeles Rams and then turned introduced himself to each member of my family before saying goodbye and leaving a family of new fans.

A Round with Sugar Ray

There were always interesting displays and events in the courtyard of the Arizona Diamondbacks home stadium. We had brought Linda’s sister, Theresa and her husband Nick from Denver to the game. We noticed a line of fans forming at a table in the courtyard to get Sugar Ray Leonard’s autograph. Sugar Ray is one of the greatest boxers of all time winning world titles in five weight classes. My guests laughed as I got into the autograph line. When I got to Sugar Ray he looked at me and not seeing something to sign he looked confused. I told him I didn’t want an autograph I wanted to throw him a left hook. He smiled, stood, and took his boxing stance. I threw my best left hook which he skillfully blocked. I thanked him and we shook hands. I returned to my group and proudly proclaimed, “I just went a round with Sugar Ray Leonard.”

The Big Unit

The Arizona Diamondbacks had just defeated the New York Yankees in the seventh game of the World Series. We went to the victory parade and celebrated with the fans on the streets of Phoenix. Randy Johnson, nicknamed The Big Unit for his 6 foot 10 inch height and 225 pounds, was named co-MVP of the series. Randy was a ten-time All-Star, winning the Pitching Triple Crown, and the Cy Young Award five times.

I was shopping at a small shop in a strip mall in Paradise Valley when Randy walked in. I recognized him right away and went to him. I stuck out my hand and said, “I’m Bob Rockwell and I’m a big fan. I just want to say hello and congratulate you.” He glared at me as if I scared him. When I dropped my arm and stepped back he turned and walked away.

Surprising Marty

A colleague from our headquarters in Massachusetts came to Los Angeles to visit many of my customers. He brought his wife from Boston. She had never been to LA before, so Linda hosted her visit. They toured and saw the sights including a taping of The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. We took them to  Lawry’s restaurant in Beverly Hills for dinner and as we were entering we met a couple at the coat room. I recognized Marty Allen, the comedian and regular on Hollywood Squares. I walked up to Marty and his wife, and said, “Marty, good to see you. How have you been?” I reached out to shake his hand, but he just stood there looking puzzled, trying to figure out who we were. Linda remembered his wife’s name and said, “Frenchie, nice seeing you.” They were agape. They couldn’t figure out who we were. After a very pregnant pause. We said goodbye and went into the restaurant.

A Drink with Johnny

Lawry’s was busy and told us to wait in the bar. We were seated and had just ordered our drinks when this familiar looking guy at the bar came to our table. As soon as he spoke I recognized his voice, but Linda and our guest knew him. It was Johnny Olson, the famous TV announcer for To Tell the Truth, What's My Line?, Match Game and The Price Is Right. He clearly enjoyed his celebrity status. He told stories and flirted with the ladies as if he was looking for company. Soon we were called to dinner.

Hef

I took a customer from Boston to the Los Angeles Playboy club to have dinner, shoot some pool, and just hang with the bunnies. We were sitting in the far corner of the lounge having a drink when a man emerged from dark. As he approached our table I recognized him, Hugh Hefner, the founder and editor-in-chief of Playboy magazine. I stood and said, “Hef, I’m a fan and admirer. I just want to say hello and thank you for Playboy and the Playboy philosophy.” I stuck out my hand and he shook it saying, “Thank you for those kind words and enjoying the club.” He turned and walked away.

I was still standing with my arm extended when my customer said, “Just think about where that hand you just shook has been.”

Hangin’ with a Movie Star

I was on a flight from Seattle to London via the polar route. This was my first over-the-pole flight, so I spent the entire flight staring out the window at the frozen world below. We landed at Heathrow and were exiting the plane. As I passed through first class I fell in line behind this attractive woman. She looked familiar but I couldn’t place her. As we walked together down the boarding ramp she struggled with her many bags. I took one and she just smiled. I recognized that smile but still couldn’t remember who she was. We continued down the ramp as a couple and soon ran into a group blocking the way waving signs and, shouting, “Welcome to London.” “Welcome Shirley MacLaine.”

Shirley looked distressed and turned to me for help. I grabbed her arm and pushed my way through the welcoming committee and into the terminal where we encountered more press and fans. I shoved our way through the mob, and we finally reached baggage claim. She was about to speak when a young man raced up to us. Shirley shouted, “Brandon, where have you been? This gentleman had to do your job.”

Brandon turned to me, shook my hand, and thanked me. I looked to Shirley. She blew me a kiss.

Sweatin’ with …

I took a break from my booth duties at COMDEX, the large computer trade show, to see the other exhibits. I passed by a competitor’s booth as Richard Simmonds was just finishing his flamboyant routine. Richard grabbed my arm as the small crowd dispersed and pointed to a backdrop and a cameraman off to the side. Richard led me to his photo spot and hugged me as the cameraman took a shot. Richard handed me the photo, grinned, and indicated he wanted to chat.

Rumors were that he was gay. I thanked him, grabbed my photo and ran away.

 

Close but missed Encounters

I’ve had a couple of almost encounters with people I would have loved to have met. It still pains me that I missed them.

The Piano Man

We took the ferry to Martha’s Vineyard Island for a romantic getaway. I had chosen a small inn in Edgartown with a gourmet restaurant. We spent the day doing touristy things. We visited the beach where the movie Jaws was filmed, the Chappaquiddick bridge that Ted Kennedy made famous and took a walking tour.

We were enjoying a before dinner cocktail listening to the piano player when our waitress came to our table, grinning and said, “You should have been here last Saturday night.” She paused to catch her breath. “Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley came in for dinner and I waited on them,” she says proudly. “At about ten o’clock Billy Joel asked me to lock the door and invite the kitchen crew into the dining room. Billy moved to the piano and started to play and sing Piano Man. He sang one hit song after another for nearly two hours. We had a private party with the Piano Man and his Super Model wife. It was the greatest night of my life.”

Folk Royalty

The Boxborough Regency Hotel was my new after-work watering hole. It was about halfway between my office in Maynard and our home in Pepperell. Their atrium restaurant and bar are spectacular and so unlike stodgy old New England. One evening I stopped in for a drink and the waitress came to my table grinning and said excitedly, “You should have been here last night. Joan Baez and Bob Dylan came in for drinks after their concert in Boston. They closed the bar.”

“Did they do anything, sing, sign autographs …”

“No, they just acted like a couple on a date.”

What’s the old expression? A day late and a dollar short.