We all pile into this long black limo. Let’s see we’ve got a zoot-suited pachuco, the ghost of Christmas past … a … a Hef look-alike … a Filipino version of a much younger Dolly Parton and me, Doctor Denton. Oh yeah, Jose invited Bambi at the last minute and she crawled into this see-through…

“Nothin’ he didn’t want to do and he did it very well, I might add, mutha fucka.” Shakeina is quick to point out. “He doesn’t look very good to me. Here … lay him down on the couch.” The funeral procession marches in-step right up to sofa and lay Boner down gently and then one…

Ring—Ring—Ring Someone answer that damn phone. Ring—Ring—Ring Where am I? Damn it’s dark in here. Finally the phone quits ringing. I sit up. I’m in a bed, a strange bed. There must be a lamp around here somewhere. I fumble around on what must be a night stand, find the base of a lamp, and…

Before Annie can answer Chui busts into the kitchen arm and arm with the ladyboy, the transvestite, or is it transsexual, then again what does transgender mean … anyway if we keep bumping into these confused people I’m going to have to figure this all out … or should I just refer to her/him/it as…

I listen in while Jose explains his plan to his director, Mario “I don’t want to shoot our usual film sequence. Forget the cutesy opening and the female focused foreplay. Jump right into male recipient oral and follow that with lots of different positions, especially those that show Boner’s boner in the best possible light.…

Yesterday was a tough day. Boner had his four hours of Mimi kuja with Trixie, Chui had a very traumatic, although short, ordeal and I met Jose, lusted after Trixie, drank some beer and I … The ringing phone interrupts my reminiscing. “Hello.” “Hello Bob, this is Joe Green and am I glad I caught…

Our César a movie star? Imagine that. I hope Jose didn’t tell Josefina that she was too old and wrinkled. But then again, if his reference is that babe out front then Josefina is old and wrinkled … but she’s my old and … “I’m always looking for new male actors. In fact the whole…

I want to get as far away from Arizona as I can before Deputy Shut-the-fuck-up does whatever she’s going to do when she gets that grin off her face and her pants back on. Then again she may have taken Chui out of jail under false pretenses and therefore will be reluctant to … Chui…

Boner and I are released early the following morning. The guy in charge says there will be no charges against us and we can pick up our car at the impound yard for $225. I am about to complain but Boner interrupts me before I can speak, “Kubisha mbali bullshit.” I ask about Chui. “We’ll…

I’m anxious to get to California and rescue Josefina but I feel like I shouldn’t leave Phoenix without checking on Chui one more time. I let Boner sleep in and drive back to the sheriff’s office. As I’m entering the building I run into the female deputy that was such a pain in the ass…