My grandson, Bobby, is approaching his thirteenth birthday. His mother and father decided it’s high time he got the The Birds and the Bees talk. After a lengthy discussion and more flimsy excuses than you can count, they conclude that I should have this very important talk with my grandson. My wife, Bobby’s grandmother, laughs…

Not long ago Pittsburgh was a worn-out city much like Detroit is today. The steel industry went belly up in the 50’s and took Pittsburgh with it. Historians give a large part of the credit for the spectacular recovery and revitalization of Pittsburgh to its Steelers, and the civic pride the championship Steelers instilled during…

A neighbor, just back from a cruise to Hawaii, was telling me about all of the pampering he got on the cruise liner. Well, I’ve never been on a cruise, or have I ever been pampered a whole hell of a lot, but I’ve been on a few boats that were memorable. My absolute favorite…

The wife of one of the bar’s patrons is murdered while showing an upscale home to a prospective buyer. Why was she killed? She had no enemies. No jealous lovers. The police can’t identify anyone who would want to harm her or benefits from her death. Their only clue is the unusual calling card the…

Abraham Lincoln reminded us that: “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” Do your bushes have thorns or roses? Probably some of each. Although we struggle to remain positive the blues occasionally grabs hold of our consciousness and the bad thoughts eating away at our souls overwhelm…

I try to send out an email each month informing my pals of what new wonders I’ve posted on my website, Too Much Tequila, Too Little Sunscreen. I encourage, okay I beg, you folks go to my website and read my latest stuff. I know you already know that. Isn’t that why you’re reading this…

. Jim Stark’s (James Dean) family has just moved to a Los Angles suburb and Jim is starting his first day at his new high school. He meets Plato (Sal Mineo), a gay wimp on a motor scooter and Judy (Natalie Wood), a really hot teenage babe. Not bad for the first day. But, he…

“That card was not approved, Ma’am.” “But…but…there’s money in my account. I don’t understand. Ah…ah…try this one.” Linda says as she reaches for her bank card and hands her Visa card to the grocery store clerk. “I’m sorry Ma’am, that card was not approved either.” “I don’t know what’s going on. I guess you’ll have…

It’s hot, my night shirt is wringing wet, my left arm throbs, my pajama bottoms are wadded up in my crotch, my mouth is painfully dry, and I have to take a leak. The clock glows an eerie green 3:46 AM. Damn it all, I’d better get to the bathroom. Is this what getting old…

Ernest Hemingway said, “As you get older it is harder to have heroes but it is sort of necessary.” Do you think having heroes is just “sort of necessary” like Papa, and is having heroes something we outgrow like hopscotch and playing marbles. I don’t know. But while you ponder that, I want to remind…