Too Much Tequila, Too Little Sunscreen

Okay, here’s the plan. What we need to do first is ban abortions, all abortions. Not because we think it’s the right thing to do, but because it’s the only way we can get the religious right and the Tea Party off of this one issue and get them focused on the real needs of our country. They’ve shown that they won’t consider anything like solutions to our healthcare problems or agreeing to a federal budget unless abortion is on the table.

Abortions are no more. They are done, done, done. Now these folks can get on with their lives and we can begin to deal with our crumbling infrastructure, our third-world education system, our 50 million people without health insurance, our 2.5 million homeless and maybe even illiteracy. Did your know that 46% of our adults can’t read the labels on their prescription medicines or that 85%, that’s right 85%, of our juveniles appearing before our courts are functionally illiterate. Do these sound like the problems we should be focused on now that we finally got rid of abortion?

Okay, we’ll lower the tax rate for the ultra rich from 35% to zero. Now can we finally get their attention?

Never mind that these folks are totally obsessed with solving our growing budget deficit by cutting the so-called entitlement programs like Social Security and Medicare without addressing or even discussing the two wars we can neither afford nor win. The hell with our old people, we need that money to kill terrorist, unseat tyrants, referee civil wars in far off lands and to shove democracy down the throats of infidels. That’s the American way.

What are we going to do with the young girl that ends up with an unwanted pregnancy, you ask? We’re going to preach abstinence and more abstinence because we know how well that works and if she still needs that abortion for any of those reasons we’ve all heard over and over, she can get a coat hanger abortion down some dark alley just like Sarah Palin will have to do.